Donkey Kong Quilt

all those small quilting lines … and no puckers! i don’t know how you do it.

The original description produced by the marketing department was reportedly rejected by upper management. However, that copy was later leaked to the press:

“Behold: the Kong. Progenitor of Platformers. Motherland of Mario. Presenting Pauline, Predecessor of Princess Peach, Guarded by the Great Gorilla. Canonized in a Quilt.”